For the past four years, the cast of Sex and the City has been playing out our dating fantasies—and our nightmares. There's Carrie, the glamorous screwup; Miranda, the woman with wisecracks in her chipped heart; Samantha, the sexually voracious id. And then there's Kristin Davis as Charlotte, the good girl who just wants to marry and live happily ever after in a castle full of KitchenAid appliances.
     Marriage-mad Charlotte is arguably the show's biggest stereotype, but she often says the true things that no one wants to hear. Last year she declared, "Women just want to be rescued." And in a show full of single and double entendres, blunt Charlotte gets some of the biggest laughs. "I've been dating since I was 15," she once cried. "I'm exhausted! Where is he?" We know Charlotte intimately—down to her nipples—but what about the actress who plays her?
     Kristin, 35, walks into the Soho Grand Hotel wearing a green Indian shirt and capris. In many ways, this former yoga instructor whose gorgeous skin is free of makeup is very un-Charlotte. In other ways, she's quite Charlotte-esque: she hosted the 2001 Revlon Run/Walk for cancer in New York City; she filmed a movie, Three Days, for the Fox Family Channel so her grandmother Flossie could see her in something that isn't dirty. At various points during our three-hour conversation, I felt like it was Charlotte herself having an egg-white omelette across from me.

How much has Charlotte changed since the first season?
A lot. Charlotte was kind of fanatically hopeful in the beginning, but after season two, I wanted her to hit some of those disgusting guys she was dating. The writers said no, so I suggested a scene where she opens her closet and a body part neatly wrapped in cellophane falls out... Charlotte as American Psycho II. I think that's when the writers thought up the marriage.

Do you ever identify with her?
Actually, there have been very few times I've had to say lines I didn't like—usually something about The Rules, which just isn't me. It's fun to let myself go there, though. In the beginning, Charlotte had her list and she wasn't going to compromise, but in the very first episode, she went out with this guy who wanted her to...

To what?
I can't say it. It's the one time I've had to reshoot a scene.

Now you have to tell me what it was.
Well... [Covering her mouth and whispering] It was about the "back door." Charlotte had to say how sorry she was, how she just couldn't, so I got emotional, even teary when we shot it. And Darren Star [the show's creator] was like, "Why are you so upset? Charlotte doesn't care. She knows he's not The One." If a guy asked her to do that, she'd automatically move on.

Do people just assume you're like Charlotte? And does it drive you crazy?
For a while, men came up to me and wanted to talk about the show's subject matter. Thank God my dog Callie is big. She's a big, growling golden retriever. And sometimes women want to share personal things. After the episode with the rabbit-shaped vibrator, Cynthia Nixon [Miranda] and I were out and these women came up to us and said, "We were at a bachelorette party and we went out and bought the rabbit and..." [She groans] But it's kind of sweet.

They say every episode of Sex and the City is based on reality—
[Jumping in] Someone's reality. There are certain writers we don't talk to about our personal lives anymore because some of our experiences started showing up in scripts. Now the four of us have a little signal that means, "Wait till we're in the dressing room." They're going to be mad at me for saying that, but it's true.

Do the men you date ever feel like they're going to be material on the show?
I don't date much, oddly enough. I'm not dating anybody right now... I'm not very good at it. Either I really like someone and I get into a relationship, or I hang out with my guy friends who are actual friends.

Do you prefer dating in or out of the business?
All my married girlfriends are like, "Stop dating actors!" But I've got to say, I love actors. I like really creative guys. The only nonactor I had a long-term relationship with was a chef. But I've only had two relationships in the last six years, one where I was the heartbreaker and one where I was the heartbreakee. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Is it true that you tell your relatives not to watch certain episodes?
Yes. My mother.

Like the episode where you wore a see-through nightgown?
[Nods.]

I've wondered about that scene, since you and Sarah Jessica Parker [Carrie] haven't appeared naked, but Cynthia and Kim Cattrall [Samantha] used to.
Kim is so free. I went to the Reebok fitness club with her once. We're in the spa area, and I'm in my bathing suit and Kim is butt-naked, walking around and striking up conversations with people. But I admire Kim. Everyone is different. Sarah Jessica has an absolute no-nudity policy.

Every time she was in bed with Mr. Big, she wore such great bras and panties.
And she is going to stay in them. But for me, it's if the nudity's appropriate. We had conversations for weeks about that nightgown scene: what I'd wear, when I'd take it off, how the shot would start above my breasts. In the end, they got a little more than planned. But I just thought, Whatever, I can't do this again. And then I was embarrassed when it aired. That scene is one of the things people want to talk to me about on the street. They don't say, "Oh, you have nice nipples" or anything like that! They say the scene was really good.

How weird is it to film sex scenes?
A lot of them are funny sex scenes, which I find easier than sexy sex scenes. Like yesterday, I did a scene where I was wearing tape "petals" on my nipples and lingerie bike shorts, because I like my thighs covered. But once in a while I'd look down and realize, I am basically naked and sitting on this man. I shut down at that point.

Are the guys able to shut down? I mean, are there... you know...
Sometimes there are. And sometimes there aren't. And both are awkward.

What's the most outrageous thing that's ever happened to you on the set?
Remember when Trey [Kyle McLachlan] is in the bathroom with the porno mag? That day, the crew were acting like 12-year-olds—it was like an adolescent party and I was the only woman. When it was time to shoot my "shocked" reaction, I slowly open the door, and Kyle turns around and he's holding this big fake you-know-what in a funny color. I was furious.

What were you like back in high school?
Pretty unhappy. People have misconceptions because I play these beauty-queen parts. I was a beauty queen, but I was a miserable beauty queen. I was slightly odd in high school.

Odd in general or odd for South Carolina, where you grew up?
Well, everyone was blond and blue-eyed, and I wasn't. I was born in Colorado, so I wasn't sixth generation; I wasn't a debutante. When I look back, I realize I was role-playing. Freshman year, I was a hippie girl—long hair. Then I got a crush on this preppy king, so I adopted corduroys, loafers, hair ribbons and I'd sleep in curlers every night. Can you imagine?

The things we do for love.
Crazy. I never really fit in. I remember once the bell rang, and a guy I had a crush on said, "We've got to go to class," and I said, "No we don't. Time does not exist." I was precocious. What can I tell you?

You were like South Carolina's Sartre!
Exactly. Then I went to college for acting, which was my way of escaping the fraternities and sororities with all their fall socials and Christmas socials and spring socials, and all these parties.... It's amazing to me that anyone comes out of the South without a drinking problem.

You went on a safari in Africa earlier this year. What was that like?
Amazing and very difficult. I'd be out with my guide, Elvis, for ten hours a day with no bathroom. No showers, either. Midway through I was like, I've lost my mind! I got back the day before the Golden Globes.

Talk about culture shock.
Yes. I was tired, just floating down the carpet in a daze. And a reporter asked me, "What do you make of reality?" I thought, What an amazing question. Then luckily I realized he was asking me what I make of reality TV shows. They would have thought I was on drugs.