Valley of
the Doll
She connived as Sammy Jo. She stole Billy from Alison. Then she married a rock star, had a baby, and lived happily ever after. It would be easy to hate Heather Locklear. Why don't we? By Vanessa Grigoriadis
Don't you wish we could all be California girls?
It's 11 o'clock on a sunny day in suburban L.A. when Heather Locklear sweeps past the ten-foot-tall wrought-iron gates at her hilltop—hell, mountaintop—mansion to greet a reporter. "Honey!" is the first word out of her mouth. "God, I look like such a mess," she says, sighing. "I've barely brushed my hair." Then the five-foot-five, size-2 hottie gives her head a long, wiggly, L'Oréal girl-like shake, and the terrific sun-dappled Heather Locklear mane—which has gone from T.J. Hooker to Dynasty to Melrose Place to Spin City with just a few trims—swings back and forth, and forth and back. Just as the Beach Boys said: She's the cutest girl in the world.
Clad today in a tiny pink tank top and white stretch pants—no shoes—Locklear was born, bred, and is still living in San Fernando County. "It's such a relief to be home," she says excitedly of returning to California after a one-year stint filming ABC's Spin City in New York (the series' production moves to L.A. this season, with Charlie Sheen replacing Michael J. Fox). "I love New York, but Gucci, Prada...I can't imagine wearing any of those clothes here. There, you always feel like you have to dress up and be so sophisticated."
"Sophisticated" is a word Locklear uses a lot—nearly every time she mentions the East Coast, a few times to explain what she thinks breast implants lack, and once in reference to Winona Ryder ("She's sooooo sophisticated"). Mostly, though, Locklear uses it to describe what she's not. It's true that today's schedule of grocery shopping, cooking class, and lunch at McDonald's doesn't exactly sound like that of a member of the Concorde set—but she's not making any excuses. "I," Locklear says, with a huge grin that lights up her extraordinarily pretty face, "have the best life ever."
And in this weather, who wouldn't? It's a day that would make every northerner worth her puffy parka sprint for the beach, but Locklear suggests sitting inside, in the air-conditioned, multiroomed behemoth that she shares with her husband, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, and their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Ava, a tan, similarly shoeless munchkin, who keeps interrupting the interview to ask if now it's time for her mother to come play. Though Locklear is clearly devoted to her daughter and is, for God's sake, a 38-year-old woman, it's still weird to think of her as a mom. Part of her charm has always been that, as an actress, Locklear seems quite a bit like a little girl playing dress-up—Amanda Woodward, Powerful Ad Exec of Melrose Place, seemed like the fantasy of someone who still wobbles in high heels.
So it's not such a surprise that Locklear is childlike in person, and it's very easy to see that she's the baby of her family, the youngest of four siblings. "Ava has so many Barbies," Locklear says, perhaps with a tinge of jealousy. "There's one we named Richie. And then there's this one Barbie that is so beautiful, and I just love her, I want to look like her so bad, so I said, 'This one's Heather.'"
Barbie and Locklear may have their blond-bombshell looks in common, but Barbie never got to marry a rock star—twice. After seven years of marriage to Tommy Lee, Locklear divorced, and then wed Sambora, on whom she says she had always had a crush, a year and a half later. "You know, I was listening to Jon Bon Jovi on Howard Stern this morning and all these people were calling in, like, 'Jon, I love you so much, blah blah blah,'" Locklear says. "And I was like, 'Hey, what about Richie?' 'Cause I've just been in love with him forever—I always thought he was the cutest one. 'Dead or Alive' was always my favorite Bon Jovi song, because Richie sang it."
Never did I feel the family's rocker roots more than when Locklear took me on a tour through their many darkly Gothic rooms, sumptuously decorated with fireplaces, stately Louis XVI chairs, stone figurines of lions, huge Chinese plates set up on little stands, and faux Impressionist paintings. In this castle, even the coasters and doormats are adorned with an "S," towels in the bathroom are monogrammed with "Sambora," and—whoa, is that a bronzed Cupid over there? "Decorator World!" Locklear says by way of explanation. Her favorite spot in the house is a dark purple velvet couch with tassles at the bottom and an incredible number of overstuffed pillows—really, a massive couch, where it would be impossible to put your feet on the floor unless you were Michael Jordan. "Richie insisted that we get a double-width couch," Locklear says, jumping on top of it. "He wanted to be able to lie down on it with me and not be crunched."
And what are those strange, vaselike objects on her massive coffee table, the gold-and-black ones that don't seem to have an opening at the top, or any real purpose at all? "Those are my grandparents' ashes," she says sternly. Then, as I plan to pitch myself over the mountaintop her house is perched on, Locklear begins to giggle, her tiny frame wracked with laughter. "Gotcha!"
All Sweats Are Off
"I work out with a trainer on the weights three times a week—that's basically all the exercise I ever do. I tried yoga last week, the kind where they heat the room to 90-whatever degrees. I could feel my insides getting cleaner, but I was like, I'm going to throw up. I kept looking at the door like, OK, can I escape and get some air now? I was soaking! It was a good thing to do, but I don't think I'm going to be doing it again any time soon. You know, I don't like to sweat that much—it's like, um, I don't know if I want to wash my hair that day or not."
Making Up Locklear
"I wear bronzer in the summer and just a little foundation, plus some stuff for pores and pimples. A little lip gloss. I make sure that I take off my makeup at night and put on moisturizer. I also wear sunblock now—pretty much since I was 30. When I hold the baby for so long, my neck and back start to kill me, and then I have to try to carry her on the other side. So I get a lot of massages now. But I don't do facials. Every once in a while I do, and then I end up with, like, a scar—I go, 'Why did I do that?' I hate makeup and salons, though I usually do book something at the spa if I'm at a hotel on vacation. I don't get pedicures or manicures—maybe once every six months. Roots don't bother me in real life. If I'm working, I get it done once every six weeks. But I hate getting my hair done—you try to explain to a hair person what to do, and they don't do it right, but I never want to hurt their feelings. So a lot of times on TV I feel like I'm looking my most unattractive. It's not the way I normally look."
A Rose Is Not Just a Rose
"Tattoos used to make you different, but it's like one person gets a tattoo and then all of a sudden it's all over everyon'es whole body, and you're not so different anymore. It's like when I first said 'bitch' on Melrose Place, no one had ever said it before on TV. But then we said it all the time. I have the ugliest tattoo on my ankle. It's a rose and a heart mushed together. I tried to get it off with a laser, but it didn't take off the whole thing. God! I have two other tattoos, and the one on my ankle is the ugliest, and it's the one everyone can see, and I just can't get rid of it!"
Gourmet or Maybe Not
"I'm not a great cook, and Richie usually doesn't want me to. I think I tried to cook for him on our fourth date, like 'Oh, we don't have to go out, I'll just whip something up,' and he just pointed his thumb down. I love medium-rare prime rib, and Mexican food—chips and salsa. That's not stuff I can cook—well, the chips-and-salsa part I can do. I can make sandwiches, and this morning I shopped at the grocery store for things like tuna salad and chicken salad. I love all kinds of food. I'm lucky—I have a really fast metabolism. I bounced back from the pregnancy pretty fast. We go out to dinner all the time. One time we went out with this couple and we finished early, and they said, 'Great! We'll make it home in time for The West Wing!' And I went, 'Oh! You don't watch us.' And she was so embarrassed. She's like, 'I'm sorry. I do watch your show sometimes.' I said, 'Just shut up, ten million people watch it, I don't want to make my friends watch it.'"
Heather's European Vacation
"I don't know if Richie has any groupies—I'm sure he does—but I haven't really seen them. When I was married to Tommy Lee, people would look at me like, 'Who's she?' And I'm like, 'OK, I'm married to him.' Traveling with a band is the best way to see the world. Bon Jovi is so huge in Europe, and they get their own plane to fly from country to country. When you're younger, you can go wild and crazy. Big bands are always put up at the best places, and they get taken care of everywhere. And the greatest thing is they'll do the show one night and then have two days off, just to stay in these great hotels in Italy or France. I remember when I was in Spain somewhere, and the show was over really late, one o'clock in the morning or something, and this restaurant opened up just for Richie and me. Although then, it's not so great, because they're all standing there looking at you. There's an entire group of guys playing the violin—just for you. Which is a little weird."
He Can Name It in Three Notes
"When we have friends over, our favorite thing to do is play Stump the Band. That's one where Richie has to play whatever people tell him to play. People throw out the names of songs from any era, like from Frank Sinatra to Marvin Gaye to whatever. We try and stump him with things he can't play. Of course, Richie used to play in a wedding band, so he knows everything. The only thing I remember him getting stumped on was one Stevie Wonder song. And he said, 'Come on, there's no guitar part!'"
Nude Behavior
"In the nude scenes on Melrose, I would always wear these ugly flesh-colored bodysuits, and the guys would just wear boxer shorts or sweats. Your boobs get all flattened out and you look so unattractive like that. Of course, it was better that I was wearing one of those than going naked—gross. I've never done a nude scene, though. At first, it was like, my parents would die. And then my husband would've killed me. And then I had this kid. But you never know."
Ruler of the Food Court
"When I was little, I didn't necessarily want to be an actress—I remember looking at beauty pageants and thinking, Oh, I want to be one of them. When I was about 15, I wanted to be a model, so I went to modeling school. They told us whatever we wanted to hear. They taught us how to do our hair, how to walk, how to apply makeup. I was in a fashion show in a mall once. Whoo-hoo!"
VIP for SPF
"When I graduated from high school, I went to UCLA for a year. I did a bunch of commercials at first. I was the sunblock 'Sea & Ski Me' girl—I had to ask some guy to put some on my back, like, 'Hey, Sea & Ski me?' The first thing I bought with money from my commercials was a light blue Mazda RX7. My dad had to drive me out to the place to get it, in order to get the good deal."
It Was a Toss-Up
"I went to audition for a part on CHiPs. It was for one line—'Make them stop, please make them stop.' The scenario was that there was a motorcycle gang that was holding a blanket and throwing my girlfriend up in the air, and I was supposed to ask them to stop. Like that was real life: throwing someone up in a blanket! I remember thinking, What do I say? 'Please MAKE them stop' or 'Please make them STOP'? The other girl who was up for the part happened to go in front of me, and I could hear her audition, so I copied her. It's like Michael J. Fox—he has such amazing timing, I always ask him if he'll say a line for me, and then I'll say it. Anyway, I got the line. And she got tossed up in the blanket."
Stars in Her Eyes
"When I got a regular job, on Dynasty, I thought that was it—I was going to be a star. Now everyone will know who I am! And then they didn't. It takes a long time to become a star. I've worked pretty consistently, but you know, for every actor, after you finish a part, you think, Maybe I'll never work again. Either you can be really comfortable with doing nothing, or you can go, 'Aaaaargh! I don't know what my future is.' That's why I always continue to work. I don't really want to sit around not knowing. Film or TV—it's just a script, and it's all the same. I just want to do good work. Like Goldie Hawn. I met her on the set of The First Wives Club—I was staring at her out of my trailer, she must've been like, Who is this person in curlers staring at me? But she was so sweet, I think she kissed me on the cheek, and I was like, 'I love you.'"
Plastics, Baby, Plastics
"I think [plastic surgery] is great! Especially since I'm at an age now where all my friends talk about it. No one's done it yet, but it's all they talk about: 'What do you think? Should I do it?' I go, 'You're not going to get a face-lift, not yet.' It's a little scary, too, because I think the big-boobs-and-big-lips look is kind of dated now—a little '80s, not too sophisticated. But sometimes I look at this [points under her chin]. If I say something to my husband, he'll go, 'You don't need it.' I think it would be scary, but hey, I'm not against it at all. At all."
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WHO? WHAT? WHERE? Heather Locklear posed for Allure's September cover, photographed by Michael Thompson at Smashbox Studios in L.A. WHEN? May 31. WHY? Locklear is America's best-loved TV beauty (Who could resist Dynasty's Sammy Jo? Who didn't love to hate Demanda on Melrose Place?). KEEPING THE FAITH: Locklear's request, "Do what you think is best," was music to hairstylist Serge Normant's ears. He had her complete (and blind) trust. With her back to the mirror, he blew her hair straight and applied L'Oréal Studio Line Straight-Up and ColorVive Leave-In Shine Infuser. FACE VALUE: Makeup artist Scott Andrew played up Locklear's bombshell appeal—L'Oréal shadow on her eyelids, black liner smudged along her lashes, and shades of pink on her cheeks and lips. 
FEVER PITCH: For the clothes, Allure creative director Paul Cavaco and Locklear both thought "hot" was best—sequins and anything red. "It's nice to be back in L.A.," she said of her move from New York. "Now I can lose those winter clothes." DAIRY MAID: Refusing celebrity treatment, Locklear refilled the coffee creamer. OLÉ!: Locklear served herself nachos, a quesadilla, and a burrito for lunch. We're still not sure where it all went. SHE GIVES LOVE A GOOD NAME: At 7:00 P.M., Locklear headed back to her daughter, Ava, and husband, Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora. —DIANA LORENZ
